tell me a story, mama

There were certain things I was prepared to do as a parent: lose sleep, change diapers, manage tantrums, read books, chop food into little pieces. I knew that I’d be leaning on my patience, resilience, and creativity to be a good mom. I have happily risen to the challenges of being an on-demand jukebox, vending machine, and boo-boo kisser. But I’ve found myself off-balance every time Margot asks me to tell her a story.

What the hell?! I love stories. I consider myself a pretty good story-teller. I’ve dabbled in improv over the years. When teaching Spanish, I employed an official method called “Teaching Proficiency through Storytelling” that involved creating new stories for my students each week. I love books and movies! Why is this so difficult for me?

The worst part is that Margot really loves when I tell her stories. She gets wide-eyed, stares at me riveted, her imagination fully present with “Softie the little white seal swimmin’ in the deep blue sea” or “Margot and her neighbors in the forest at night.” Often, the moment I get to the end, she smiles and says, “tell the story again.” (Even if there is no plot at all!) This would be the sweetest if I wasn’t sweating about the contents of the story.

I should mention: I believe that stories shape people’s values. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that every major religious text is full of stories; we learn how to be in the world through stories. So the stakes are high—I feel tremendous pressure to tell my toddler stories that have a good message. And when I grasp for stories I know, they are all either inappropriate or violent or carry some questionable message.

Take Noah’s Ark for example: God tells Noah to build an ark to save the animals. At first it sounds like a sweet tale of the first conservationist… then I remember that the story starts with God telling Noah “the humans have all been pissing me off, so I’m going to kill basically everyone with a flood.” The classic fairy tales are full of death and/or murder. I found a collection of Aesop’s fables, but they feel a little too much like propaganda, even for a toddler. Plus I don’t like the way those stories demonize certain animals.

I did some googling and landed on a reddit page of dads sharing their story-telling ideas with each other. One dad said, “History is my go-to. Did you know that Little Bunny Foo Foo liberated Europe, was elected to two terms as President, and founded NASA?” Some shared that they retell their D&D campaigns for a kids’ audience, some shared that they find their inspiration in Marvel movies or sportsgames they’ve watched. It occurred to me that mine is not a unique problem. A lot of kids want to hear their parents tell stories, and a lot of parents are struggling to come up with quality tales.

I love that even in this world that is saturated with media, Margot wants to sit in the dark and listen to me tell her a story. (Granted, as far as media goes, she is only allowed to watch one episode of Daniel Tiger each day, a privilege that she holds extremely sacred.) But it still feels special that she wants to hear stories.

Storytime is a beautiful opportunity to have quality time with my child, and to guide her values and worldview. I’ve come up with a couple stories so far–one about valuing friendship over winning, one about enjoying seasonal fruit, one about being a good big sister, one about being present in nature. The stories are OK, but they could certainly be better. As parents, we have the chance to work some real magic with our kids when they are open to hearing a story. I believe that children are like shrubs–a lilac’s a lilac, a dogwood’s a dogwood, a rose is a rose–they are who they are, but they can also be watered and pruned. One of the ways we can water and prune / guide our kids is through storytelling.

I’m going to lean into this more, and will continue to share my thoughts with you. I’m also feeling inspired by “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” realizing I could also try and put stories to song.

Speaking of which–Happy Holidays, everyone! I hope your season is full of joy and quality moments with people you love.

If you’re a parent, what do you do when your children ask to hear a story? Do you have favorite stories or story-creation-techniques?