You’d think that something we do routinely – not to mention that I’ve been a predominant walker my whole life – wouldn’t be hard to pick back up. In reality, however, walking is quite complex and necessitates reliable balance, proprioception, the activation of many muscles simultaneously…Given my particularly relevant injuries: breaking my upper and lower left leg, breaking my pelvis in 3 places and having O memory of how to walk, the re-uptake of walking was particularly taxing. Relearning to walk, amid my first 3 years of recovery, felt like I was traversing a tight rope amidst a mine field! My stance was very wide & still is as a result of my primary goal not to fall! It was far less easy to tumble given that wide base of support. The gap between my legs has now lessened substantially, but it’s still wider than natural, hence my call for further physical therapy presently.
In each of the 2 hospitals I inhabited, I was assigned a physical therapist. When in the care facility in between the 2 hospitals, I took ample walks amidst the gorgeous area it lay amid. Then, once released from all 3 medical facilities, I exercised an abundance of out patient physical therapy and independently took daily walks (propelled by my dad!) in Santa Rosa. Among the first outpatient physical therapies I took part in, was a Physical Therapist (PT) at Santa Rosa Memorial Hospital as well as a yoga therapist in Santa Rosa – Kathleen.
Support of the serendipitous nature of my recovery, lay in the reality that Kathleen & my esteemed yoga therapist in Seattle, Robin Rothenberg, trained together. Simultaneous to me working with Kathleen, Robin heard of my accident from a teacher at her grandkid’s school, which happens to be the school that my mom formerly taught at before retirement. Resulting from Kathleen & Robin being trained by the same teacher, their practices in combination progressed well.
While I lived with my dad Tese & his wife Emily in the house they rented on Mercer Island, Seattle (where I grew up) I took walks daily. I therefore practiced walking routinely, while knowing where I was, as memories of my early childhood were the only ones retrievable at that time. My dad illuminated retrospectively too, that he ensured all of our neighbors were aware of my circumstance, so that they could watch out for me as I walked by there homes.
I primarily, while in Seattle, engaged in physical therapy with Anne Marie, a fantastic PT, for 2 months. This was enabled by her being a friend of my dad’s. I too worked with the organization Rehab Without Walls.
Overarching all during this time, was my consistent work with my friend & former client, Robin Rothenberg, a renowned yoga therapist. I worked with her for 6 years. She too referred me to another yoga therapist she had trained. I worked with the referred yoga therapist: Julie, for 6 months simultaneously during the last bit I lived in Seattle. Robin continued to work with me, via video, when I lived in Bellingham as well.
I worked with the aforementioned therapists while the wheels of the University of Washington were in motion. It took time to align me with a physical therapist there (I was en wait of all the back-end stuff that needed completion). Once all was ready, I worked with outpatient physical therapy at the UW for 6 months as well.
From there, my physical therapy took a hiatus as I moved to Portland briefly, which demanded that I stay home all day, to protect my things from my thieving roommate. My motivation lessened monumentally, as a result of necessarily staying home the vast majority of the time. Resultantly, my physical recovery largely regressed.
Over my 13 years of recovery thus far, I’ve employed contorted walking post conceptualizing how to get from 1 place to another. I did so in order to protect, most importantly, my brain. This also resulted in sitting with my legs far apart…After well over a decade of wacky physical alignment, this alternative stance has unfortunately become engrained.
Thankfully, I’ve reclaimed proper torso alignment (or close to?). I’m under no false presumption & realize that just because I’ve realigned hugely, I still may have a some room to go (self-perception isn’t presently reliable). I DO see why I once leaned back hugely (I initially hinged at my waist, so much so that my head was behind my bum). Falling on my face was & is SCARY, visually and as a result too, of there being many essential muscles that could be mangled: nose, mouth, eyes…These muscles being mutilated would also hurt extremely!
For refinement – thank goodness I’ve finally reached the refinement point! – I just began working with a Luna physical therapist: Elizabeth. I believe, via considering her facial expressions that my present physical therapist considers my physical furtherance impressive. Comparatively, it is. After-all, the doctors from my final inpatient hospital assumed I’d be wheelchair bound for the rest of my life. The vast majority of survivors that incurred critical TBIs are, in fact. Little does she know of the substantial amount of physical therapy I’ve already had. I will say though, that while therapists are ABSOLUTELY necessary and incredibly beneficial, personal perseverance while utilizing their services, is imperative.
I have a grandiose motivator – I want to walk again, without calling attention to my vulnerability! Appearing more vulnerable than I already do has never been an option that I’m at-all comfortable with. I can only knowingly speak to how it feels to a slight woman, as that’s what I am. Appearing vulnerable as a slight woman, is unacceptable in my consideration.
Pre-TBI I moved quite quickly & therefore felt comfortable exploring nearly all neighborhoods. If I entered an environment that wasn’t initially obviously dangerous and in need of avoidance, I’d pick up the pace, make the soonest turn, and get out of there as quickly as possible! If I later, amidst walking in that hood for a bit, realized it was sketch (which certainly happened), I’d instantly deviate (take the nearest turn).
I want the freedom that my speed enabled back!
Who would’ve thought it’d take 13 years (& I’m STILL not there yet!) to finalize the reclamation of my pervasive walking abilities. Not I. But, to be fair, as I’ve previously stated unendingly, this recovery in totality, takes FOREVER!