I’m at my friend Monique’s house in Tahoe now & I adore it here; it’s picturesque. Sitting a-front Lake Tahoe, surrounded by redwoods, the lake’s freshly melted snow calls to me & so, I wade in. I submerge myself without hesitation & am enjoying lazing about, surrounded by friends doing the same. Upon a brief bit of submergence, however, I realize that the water surrounding me isn’t the only water in my existence, internal waste water too needs to be disposed of!
This pressing need prompts me to leave our swim-hole in a timely fashion. A man within our community says that he’ll show me where the restrooms are, for which I am grateful. I view the honey buckets ahead soon after we depart, tell him I see them & am good, while waving him off (2nd nature). It definitely would’ve been extremely helpful had I noted the colors of car bumpers surrounding the entrance to our swim-hole or asked him to stay until I was ready to return, for guidance back. Due to my preset, off-hand memory, regressing to the time before I acquired my critical Traumatic Brain Injury (which I’m told by my doctor’s is the truth for all survivors). I did neither.
The reality that we’d bushwhacked our way through the hedge from our slight beach, to reach the trail on which the restrooms lie, equated to our beach being disguised from view. Resultantly, I finished discarding of my internally held liquid & only upon exiting the honey bucket did it dawn on me: I had no idea where to return to! Upon my panic which resulted, the knowledge that our swim-spot was very near the honey buckets, fled from my consciousness, as did the direction from which we’d come. My busied brain, trying to figure out where we’d originated, became blank. Stress = a loss of problem solving strategies -> measures and, as was the case in this instance, all logic vanishes for many minutes.
To make matters worse, I’d moved directly from Lake Tahoe to the honey bucket & resultantly, I had no phone with me. Due to panic (not visibly, but internally, certainly), the resulting lack of problem solving tactics and let us not forget my ever-present bruised brain, I quickly walked in each direction from the honey buckets in search of our beach. I did so by walking along the center of the main drag (which was asphalt!) as a result of parked cars blockading the thin strip of grass that lay afront the hedge.
The asphalt was hot, due to being shone-upon by the baking sun of the day (it was 3pm). My feet are tough once again, due to consistently (nearly constantly) walking barefoot. Alike all-else resulting from my critical Traumatic Brain Injury and my resulting month-long coma, however, my tolerance is extremely dampened. My calluses aren’t near as thick as they once were & in this particular scenario, the practice of wearing no shoes had lasting negative effects…
Usually, the hot asphalt would’ve warned me off nearly instantly – “ouch!!” – the souls of my feet would’ve screamed! Because I have depleted receptiveness, however, the awareness of the burning of my soles didn’t reach my brain for quite some time. Extremely luckily, my friend Monique appeared on the blacktop, calling my name & waving her arms to redirect my attention to her & her backdrop (the entrance to our swim-hole). I’d clearly missed the space we’d broken through the hedge to reach our swimming hole some time back, as she was many yards away.
Aaaaa yes. A day at the beach…alongside a critical Traumatic Brain Injury.
Great thing now is, with each downfall, I learn. I identify helpful practices to employ in similar future situations:
– actively have heightened awareness of my surroundings
– where shoes when walking on asphalt -(duh!!)
– ALWAYS bring my phone
Better yet – distance myself from the group & pee in the water!
Clarity in this particular situation & ALWAYS ensues in retrospect