Tapas, is the yogic ethical principal of discipline. Tapas are among a subset of the yoga sutras, known as the Niyamas. The Sutras & Niyamas are believed to be composed and compiled by the ancient Indian sage, Patanjali. A number of other yogic works are believed to be written by Patanjali as well.
The Niyama Tapas is succinctly defined as both endurance and/or acceptance. I understand diligence to mean working for what you want! Conversely, Tapas also refers to an acceptance of what is, and not trying to change it grandly.
To take a risk of this grandeur (or of any amount, in all honesty) is completely out of character for me. I’m well aware that some people consistently crave risky behaviors. Respect! I however, lifelong, have been largely risk averse.
Offering to run an errand, which necessitated driving, sans any driving experience (due to routine travel and residing in big cities) in order to gain cell service, was an attempt to facilitate furthering my stay at the Sanctuary. My choice to drive equates to a lack of tapas (acceptance of my inability to drive). This combination resulted in my incurrence of a critical TBI. Making this decision, sans tapas, is the closest I’ve come to uncovering an understanding of my rationality at that time. Considering I have no recollection of the year on either side of my injury, an educated guess is necessary.
As previous posts suggest, I’ve been diligently digging for an explanation to the entirely life altering decision I made on the day I obtained my critical TBI, but in truth, as I stated previously, I think it was desire supplanting rationality. During that drive, while running an errand for the mindfulness Sanctuary I was attending, I totaled the car I was driving. Driving far from the Sanctuary was the only way to gain cell reception & therefore communicate with those outside the Sanctuary. This was a necessary precursor = asking my parents to transfer funds (they alone I trust enough, to offer my banking passwords) from my savings to my checking to facilitating my elongated stay.
My lack of tapas (accepting true knowledge), also informs my understanding of making this uncharacteristic decision of mine. Sure, many have simply equated this choice to being young (considering the life span of Washingtonians is now 80.2, 2 nearly 27 ((my age at the time)) is still considered young). I’ve heard and read that a lack of rationality, is particularly common for millennials (my generation) as well.
We’ve (generally) been coddled by our parents lifelong. They made many of our decisions for us when we were young. Therefore, young adults (myself & my close-in-age comrades) are inexperienced in making rational decisions, particularly when juxtaposed with strong desires!
Perhaps that’s why young adults are among the largest # of people to incur TBIs? To be clear: I am in NO way saying that this was my or anyone else’s parents doing! That’d equal passing the buck in a totally unjustified way. Not to mention the reality that their attentiveness serves me & us astronomically and has lifelong.
I am incredibly grateful for all of my parent’s lifelong support & particularly in this instance.
I do realize that I, unfortunately, have brought prolific hardship not only on myself but on them as well, as they remain attentive, amidst this loooong recovery saga. I am & will continue to be, incredibly thankful to them, lifelong, for how well they raised me initially, as well as for their present devotion. They’ve made numerous sacrifices, to help me reclaim happiness, and all in their golden years! They’re helping me recover & reclaim joy (which is tremendously difficult for ALL critical TBI survivors, as deep depression comes alongside this horrific injury) while in their retirement.
Tese and Mom: you are outstanding parents.