Fantom memories of mine seem to arise when I’m in a half wake half sleep state. They appear to be dreams, except that the content is so familiar…I’m called to investigate further. I usually don’t remember my dreams, I never have lifelong, but this 1/2 wake 1/2 sleep time seems to be the catalyst for my memory-dreams retrieval.
The memory of mine that arose this time (just as before, in a semi wakeful dream) was composed of me walking amidst stretches of sand, which it’s safe to assume was Golden Gardens Beach, as it’s the only beach in Seattle, that I’m familiar with which offers long stretches of sand. It’s been a favorite beach of mine in Seattle for many years (a favorite of mine for bonfires that is).
In the memory, I was traversing a stretch of sand, while gleefully & joyously expressing gratitude for the beautiful things that were transpiring in my life at that time. I resided in SF & had intended to return there after the Sanctuary (that’s why I’d sublet my room in SF & had only taken a leave of absence from my waitressing job). I was thanking the moon for the bountiful goodness & seeming boundlessness that had transpired recently in my life. The moon is a goddess of mine & as a result, this is not an uncommon practice of mine, particularly when I feel so thankful! Therefore, the memory that arose a few days ago, was further validated by the existence of my personal practice.
The gratitude I was expressing to the moon, arose from the reality that I had been working at a casual fine ding restaurant for a year+: Delfina (I’m aware that the combination of casual and fine dining sounds counter-intuitive, but that was & is in-fact the case). The prices on the menu confirm Delfina’s stature, particularly the prices for bottles of wine. Our clientele practiced plentiful business meetings there, as it had & has fine food + a diverse & exquisite wine selection.
As a result of having 1 shift of waitressing a week, I was enabled to pay for my SF basics (rent, bus pass, membership at the co-working space I wrote from, groceries). I utilized the $ I made writing, to fill my “slush fund” with which I had fun with the wondrous people I befriended there! Granted, all was done on a mighty slight budget.
Existing on a minute budget, which I’ve practiced my whole life, when surrounded by comrades, practicing the same (due to the exorbitant cost of living in SF), doesn’t feel lacking in the slightest! Appreciation & enjoyment of all that life has to offer, has been a priority & practice of mine lifelong. I was so very joyful while living there. This I feel certain of.
I was SO joyous to hear my dear friend Mandy, from Seattle, confirm our celebration at Golden Gardens, shortly before I left for the Sanctuary. This solidified that the truth that my waking dream was, in fact, largely influenced by a shrouded memory of mine. Lost memories of mine, beginning to resurface & fall into place, from the 2 months proceeding the yoga camp is enlivening.