Anyone who incurred a critical TBI has nearly a total loss of recall of the couple years AT LEAST on either side of the injury. Similarly, they have impaired vision, balance and are tasked with relearning basically everything. Given these monstrous tasks, I’ve undoubtedly found recovery to be devastating. Mine, however, due to the timing of my life being transformative, had an extremely profound effect. Specifically, the timing of life I’m referencing, is late 26 years old (a month & a week before I turned 27). This was the time of my life in which I was mentally & spiritually transitioning from the raucously fun & social experiences I had in SF, to a much more independent past-time. Counteractively, there’s certainly an astronomical benefit to the accident transpiring at this time of life = the younger you are, the more nueroplasticity exists within your brain!
Essentially, I was embracing adulthood. Returning to live with my parents, infrequently, (post my inhabitation with them for the first 1.5 years of recovery) for the last 8 years (in between inhabiting different cities & states), has felt very unnatural & unideal for us all. I feel many can relate to this trial, as the down-turn in our economy recently necessitated that some adults return to their parent’s homes.
Before incurring my TBI, I received some wondrous emotional support from my mom & Tese (my dad & best friend) per usual, for me. I lived in a handful of global cities (a few months in each) alongside my wondrous partner at that time, Chris. I then moved to SF independently. The time I lived in San Francisco was 3- 4.5 years after my college graduation from Seattle University.
I had wished to solitarily practice my art (freelance writing) while living in San Francisco. Yet, very early on, it became obviously impossible to enjoy myself (still on a crazy budget) while relying solely upon the minimal means that writing offered. Even with a fantastically generous mentor (my first client) as well as a revolving set of others (all who’s missions I believed in ((which encouraged my choice to be a freelancer: chose all of my clients!))) this truth prevailed. Due to my belief in their missions, as well as my knowledge that, like me, they didn’t prioritize money and therefore didn’t make an abundance, I chose not to charge the cost that were respectful of their trade.
Pre-TBI, my reasonable rent, transport, and the minimal health expenses that my then healthy-self demanded (vitamins, women’s needs and the occasional physical) were all my necessary health expenditures. The only additions were extremely restricted groceries and having fun. Very few ways to meet new, likeminded people or engage in fun external pastimes with them. These prolific restrictions & the constant stress provoked by the constant concern of living within my minimal means, equaled a source of unnecessary, ever-present stress.
The aforementioned life decisions (re-sieving waitressing employment) was made because they meant that I had complete say over my actions. The only way that I was able to live out my desires in SanFrancisco, honestly, was the addition of obtaining a fine dining waitressing job. I did so upon a fantastic suggestion of my mom (amongst the emotional support I previously noted). I’d waitressed for 7 years in Seattle, to support myself, before moving to the astoundingly expensive (even then!) city of SanFrancisco so taking it back up was within my experiential knowledge.
Even when I began waitressing, I did so only 1 4 hour shift a week. After all, that’s all the money I needed! It was fine dining. I consistently surpassed guest’s expectations (this was expected) and was tipped accordingly. The minimal amount I chose to waitress, emphasizes the reality that my priorities never altered grandly. Just as they haven’t, even now! I realize that my choice to make & save very little money while living in SF, meant that I was unable to save any money after incurring my numerous injuries, which certainly would have served me in my current circumstance. Still, I don’t regret this. My underlying priorities haven’t changed, although I am certainly encouraged now, to obtain a bit more savings…to prepare adequately for the unexpected.
I have always prioritized having a healthy spirit above most else. For me to retain a healthy spirit, relaxation & enjoinment with friends are necessary (aren’t they for nearly everyone?!). Prioritization of that has never been a question of mine. Working nearly solely and having very little time for enjoyment has never been an option that I considered. This is undoubtedly a privilege. I absolutely recognize that!
To incur this life threatening injuries, which demands extensive, prolific & nearly complete recovery, amidst this transformative time, was nothing short of devastating. I will say, that currently, I’m again identifying what I must reclaim, in order to further my whole-self happiness. Now, finally, after 8. 2 years of recovery, my trials can be altered to include elongated (many hours – a day) of overwhelming enjoyment once again! This is where a vision board comes in! This is a pleasurable (necessitating no handwriting, which = ample frustration for me now) & productive activity to begin this quest.