My head was hit on my front left side, deadly hard. (40 miles an hour)? That’s a guess, as I was on a freeway & after a few spins, my car certainly lost a fair amount of speed). My car & head (due to the roadside pole’s placement) was impaled, which resulted in my loss of consciousness. The left side of my frontal lobe was damaged (the ample blood my Mom & my 2nd mom, Emily, washed out of my hair, whilst I lay comatose, offers conclusive evidence). They utilized towels, drenched in the bathroom sink & trash bags, to discard of the blood filled towels. The prefrontal cortex lies at the very front of the brain, just behind the forehead & t’is where executive function lies. As a result of clobbering it, a large part of my executive function was damaged severely.
In my first 5 years of my recovery, it was obvious (to others, as I hadn’t yet regained much self-awareness) that I lacked prefrontal cortex functions. Memory in one such function. Memory is still a hardship of mine, but far less so all the time. Initiating organizing & carrying out activities are aspects of executive function, which I initially was lacking entirely.
“They (the frontal lobes) are particularly vulnerable to traumatic brain injury, due to their location at the front of the brain and their large size.” – headway.org.uk
Mood disturbances are also the result of a damaged prefrontal cortex. They were ample mood disturbances in the first few years of my recovery (which long-time friends can attest – thank you for sticking with me!) & some at seemingly random at times. Thankfully, good friends know that this isn’t part of an alteration to my character.
Both memories & faculties are slowly returning now. largely they’re one & the same. For instance: Initially, I couldn’t remember how to pick up a fork! Not to mention, my inability to use my right (dominant) hand for anything. My right side was entirely paralyzed for the first couple years & then regaining my capabilities continues to come very slowly with time (still in progress!).
Many of my short term memories, especially, were obliterated by the Severe TBI I incurred. All memories were absent, initially, aside from those of my childhood & since I incurred the TBI when I was 27, that equated to all of my memories of adulthood and of even high school, as well.
“A prominent account of prefrontal cortex (PFC) function is that single neurons within the PFC maintain representations of task-relevant stimuli in working memory” – US National Institute of Health
All of the memories that I obtained as an adult, were mute, initially. But now my memories of the last 20 years (SF, travel, college…) are slowly straggling in! As my specialty psychiatrist has told me, in response to my continuous griping about the longevity of my recuperation > your recovery is entirely unique to you and continues to delight & surprise medical experts. Routine check-ins with my neurologists affirm this.
It’s incredibly unfortunate & infuriating (at times) that my critical TBI is responsible for demolishing my patience in conjunction with this recovery, which is SO damn long & full!