I requested a sharing of hardships that other survivors have experienced amidst their recovery, in a TBI Facebook support group. (TBI Facebook groups are such an invaluable healing agent, for many reasons, but for the following reason in particular): The overwhelming answer to my hardship question, was loneliness.
I can certainly relate to this. When my scars were far more obvious, as well as my mental hardships (which are in no way gone, but I have now learned how to deal with most of them). I became so used to a lack of being approached by people my age, (which is quite opposite from my reality before).
Although I intended to promptly return to SF after leaving the Sanctuary, due to my very near-death experience, my plans where blown to oblivion. After the final hospital, I was sent to live with my parents, in Seattle, to be cared for. The adjustment to living back in Washington was unwanted & is presently, less than ideal.
People’s general demeanor in Seattle (the city is the only place I care to live, due to diversity, open minds & fellow artists!) is quite reserved & solitary here, certainly compared to California (which is where I live in mind) 😊
Previous ancient friends of mine in Seattle dropped off (before even seeing or spending time with me), due to lacking acceptance/fear (I assume). There were other friends of mine that became angry with/hurt by me too, due to my symptoms of mine. Most of the friendships that once appeared to be lost, due to misunderstanding symptoms of mine for a change of my character, I have now reclaimed – yay! My ability to explain (as I am now) facilitated that understanding in part: the perceived insults were in fact symptomatic. (True dat!) I absolutely credit my friends, overwhelmingly, for listening to & resultantly returning to me.
This is very uncommon for the majority of survivors. (I’ve learned from my experienced psychiatrist, whose been with me my entire recovery. As well as other survivors too, whose loneliness, I previously referenced). More confirmation of what I already knew to be true: The majority of my friends (the close ones) are incredibly sympathetic rockstars!!
I tried living in the city of Bellingham too (another northwest city) with even less luck! That’s where I received the unjust prejudice from a housemate. Washington seems to no longer suit me: Living back in Washington only accentuates disconnection from others. (Residents here aren’t particularly outgoing). Lucky for me, I relish solitary time & am well versed in entertaining myself. I’m an only child, who grew up in Seattle, after-all. I can deal for now…
No doubt the vitamin D, which sun emits in California, is in part responsible for Californians’ sunny disposition. Having a sunny disposition only propagates greater joyfulness in a variety of areas of life. And now, due to living in SF (only for 1.5 years!) I fervently desire greater socialite & sun in my life, once again.
.