During the first few years of my recovery, the loss of my adoration for life, was profound & felt cataclysmic. It felt as if my life, which had previously abounded with possibilities, had instantly been entirely shuttered.
Due to a sublime combination of wondrous circumstances (an absolute gift), stupendous support + guidance from my fantastic parents and devoted work of mine, life was mine for the taking. Once I decided to do something, I’d go all in & I’d achieve whatever it was I desired (within reason, of course). Please don’t mistake this for me saying that all was easy for me – absolutely not. But little did I know, pre-TBI, what grueling truly felt like. I hadn’t a clue.
Caveat: Everyday wasn’t sublime and full of motivation. I would never claim to be superhuman! Everyone has bad days, when they’re in a foul mood and a consequential lack of motivation ensues. This was, very luckily, an anomaly of mine pre-TBI.
The immense depression that resulted from the severe TBI I incurred, felt instantaneous & could not be personally remedied. This is irrefutable as it was foreseen to take place, by all of my doctors. In the 3rd & last hospital of mine, the doctors sat my caretakers (Mom, Tese & Emily) down and forewarned them that this’d take place.
Once I moved from my final hospital to my mom’s house, I realized that perceptively, abruptly (in truth, it was post 9 months of existing in 3 hospitals) all of my opportunities seemed to be extinguished.
My doctors weren’t lying!!
I am THRILLED to say, that I have now (after 7.5 years) largely reclaimed my motivation.