Santosha is 1 of the primary Niyamas within the Yoga Sutrās (a classic yogic text). The Sutrās are thought to be 1 among many of Sage Patanjali’s Sanskrit works.
How this relates to my life now specifically: I’m really enjoying the beautiful people & and abundant gorgeous nature in Bellingham.
This doesn’t, however, make me complacent. I’ve become used to and therefore want, the sun that I embraced & grew used to in SanFrancisco.
As a result, I’m thoroughly enjoying Bellingham currently, knowing that I will, very likely, move back to California in a few months when my lease here ends. I know that happiness doesn’t await me there, but I do knowingly believe (through past experience), that sunshine lifts my mood (& energy level) to a height that I’d never experienced while living in the PNW. My energy erupts as a result = I’m far more productive.
I am extremely fortunate to have largely been imbued with a positive lens, out of which to view things, lifelong. It has been a gargantuan & palpable loss, to live without, for a few years (early recovery). I undeniably knew of this loss, although I was unable to articulate it well in the first bit (4 yeas). (Yes, 4 years is a bit given the extensive length of my expected recovery timeline). After-all, I wasn’t able to articulate much well in early recovery, certainly not intangible sentiments, like feelings…
I was, pre-injury, quite adept at verbalizing felt emotions, (many long-standing friends of mine can & have attested). This temporary inability of mine was so frustrating! But truly, what aspect of recovery from a severe brain injury hasn’t been?
I am blessed with an incredibly wise dad/best friend, who intuitively understood the crux of my proclamation in the first few years of my recovery. My attempt to explain how my reception of life had altered drastically: “I’m no longer in love with life!!” It may have been a tad more dramatic than that…(In fact, I’m fairly sure it was). Very fortunately, he understood what a profound emotional loss this (my intense love of life) was for me.
Amidst recovery my experience has been & will be for an unforeseeable time (according to my psychiatrists) extremely taxing. Prolific aspects of my existence are consistently far more difficult & much more physically taxing. I am relieved, however, to be consistently told by experts, that I’ll get there eventually.
My brain was overrun by the necessity of re-learning all previously. I had no energy to expend on explanatory & precise articulation. That was superfluous to me at that time. Being unable to articulate this all-consuming melancholy, only added to my deep depression. (Articulation & I have been reliably simpatico life-long). I was so sorrowful & resultantly pissed with all of life!
Tese understood the grandeur of the loss I felt. There was a great disparity between my profound love of life before incurring my TBI & the completely juxtaposed feeling I had amidst my early recovery.
Svadhishtha in Sanskrit, otherwise known as the sacral chakra, is associated with the pelvis. My seatbelt demolished my pelvis (broke in numerous places – hence the neccesity for me to re-learn to walk). It is the second primary chakra, as is recognized by yogic spirituality. This chakra is said to be blocked by fear, especially the fear of death. Opening this chakra can boost creativity, manifested desire and confidence.
I know (through practicing mindfulness) that recognizing peace within, including necessary adaptations (EX: the obvious proclivity of some strangers ((certainly not all)) to recognize my trials & help) is a golden key that continues to remind me that positivity exists all around me.
Attending the sanctuary (where we officially meditated twice a day and studied the Bhagavad Gita routinely) directly before incurring my prolific injuries, influenced me to adopt a deep state of acceptance. The sanctuary helped to deepen my devotion to Buddhism, and as zen master, Thich Nhat Hanh, says:
“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness”
Being reminded that positivity abounds externally (when you put yourself in positive environments & chose to surround yourself with positive people), allows me to dismiss untrue attacks on my character. (Yes, that too, I redundantly experience). Less so with time, but the degradation continues to persist albeit to a far lesser level now.
The awesome thing is, that NOW (as my psychiatrist foresaw) I can laugh off unwarranted jabs. When they’re based solely on opinion and no evidence, criticisms are extremely laughable to me.
Only on 1 well-deserved occasion, has my laugh been intentionally audible 🙂