At my accident site, once I was assessed & intubated (initially by the firetruck’s medic & then, upon their arrival, by the EMTs, ((assumedly))) I was flown immediately to Sutter Roseville Hospital. Sutter is an esteemed hospital, that’s particularly well-known for their excellence in treating patients with traumatic brain injuries. The life-threatening injury I had incurred, due to the setting – a freeway (car accidents are responsible for an overwhelming percentage of TBIs incurred) was 1 telling indicator. My unresponsiveness & the mutilated car I was in, with the driver-side window bashed in was another, which only substantiated their knowing. Not to mention, that the medics were initially offered a strong suspicion, of the state they would find me in, by the explanation given by the inhabitants within the car following me who had called 911. The police were made aware, of my car’s many spins (my car was clearly, out of control) over the phone.
Great thing: my body knew best, how to heal itself (for a few moments, until medical help, necessarily, arrived) & thank goodness! My body intuitively shut off all external intake & output, to focus entirely on staying alive. For patient’s with life-threatening injuries (including many TBI patients) they are put into medically induced comas.
Once medical personal arrived, I was enabled to breathe via a ventilator at the car accident site, before I was airlifted to Sutter Roseville Hospital. I was on life support during my flight there as well as during my 28 day coma & my stay on life-support only continued from there…
Once I awoke from my coma, I was transferred to Fairfield Hospital in Marin, while remaining on life support. In Fairfield, I began reclaiming the fundamental aspects of living. The nurses at Fairfield began waning me off of the many aspects of life support. 1 of said aspects, was initiating my practice of independent breathing: Initiating my practice of independent breathing with “wind sprints”. They disconnected me from the ventilator for a few seconds, enabling me to breathe independently for a few minutes, before replacing my ventilator. Nurses then readied me for my trachea tube’s removal.
Specifically, they began leading me through swallowing exercises (imagine – having to relearn to swallow! I had to relearn every conscious aspect of consumption after-all). Next I began to be served foods that were easy to consume & digest (like jello) and thick liquids (like smoothies). Thinner liquids (like water!) are harder to drink. Even now, after all this time, I’ve been known to spew coffee (the same consistency as water) although infrequently, thankfully! I’ve ruined shirts and freaked out fellow café goers, but thank goodness, I’ve never doused anyone else!
Fairfield was, in large part, the hospital in which I continued to arise from my coma (awaking from a coma is in no way instantaneous, its gradual, unlike films depict). I regained (in part) the practice of sustaining myself as well as disposing of the food I consumed. No more hospital issued diapers for O! (The readers who know me personally, can likely imagine how ginormous the 1 size fits all, hospital provided diapers, were on me)! I have Tese, my dad, to thank profusely for this. Talk about a messy & smelly job!
Simultaneously, my mom & aunt were working tirelessly to get me on Medical insurance (due to the scam insurance I was sold in San Francisco, which was only applicable to injuries that took place in the city (47 miles!), which the Sanctuary is certainly not). My mom & dad were also visiting subacute rehab centers, where I would be transferred once they deemed me ready. Whilst doing so, they employed my aunt & my step mom to be in the Fairfield alongside me, as the nurses there were not attentive there. To receive things I needed, someone had to ask (which I was not at all capable of – I was barely conscious)! They both did me incredibly well.
My parents had many qualms with this hospital, which I will elaborate on, in another post.
In CPMC, after I gradually awoke from my 3 & 1/2 week coma, I had to re-learn to eat, walk, talk & nearly all else, as life-long memories were inaccessible initially, not solely recently acquired ones.
As a result, my mom was correcting my horrific eating style in the hospital (which I have no doubt was solely about shoveling as much food as possible into my mouth). After all, I was fed through a tube, which deposited only essential nutrients directly into my stomach, for nearly a month (whilst in a comma)!
I was 98 pounds (30lbs of weight lost) upon exiting the hospitals. I naturally, have no weight to loose!
My absence of manners was upsetting to her, (she’s my mom, after-all) & none of us had any idea of what to expect, as a result of this brand-new & extremely traumatic experience.
A doctor walked past, saw me shoveling food into my mouth independently (as opposed to being fed by another) & the doctor was overjoyed. He exclaimed, that that action was “excellent!”
Nothing like a medical professional’s ecstatic approval, to get your mom off of your case.
And then, of course, there was the disposal of food…
For a few days after awaking from the coma, I was given a diaper. (Standard protocol for people recovering from an injury that disables their food disposal abilities). A few days after I was given the diaper, I refused to wear it. I was an adult after-all, not an infant, I needed to use a toilette!! My dad, Tese, assisted me incredibly, by being a guide that advised me, in practicing this desired action (going to the bathroom), until I could complete excretion (in medical language, they refer to the inability empty your bladder or bowels: incontinence) & defecation independently,
The application of this skill, was ridiculously fast too, (according to the physicians present), for the recovery of a patient who had nearly perished, as a result of a severe traumatic brain injury.
Granted – who can deny (even if only imaginarily considered) that a 27 year old, relearning to use a toilette, would be very tough to stomach! (pun intended)
Another miraculous thing: I have never experienced pain. I’ve attempted to understand the rationale for this, but have found none. This truth is very uncommon for people with my injury, let alone, with my extreme severity of injury. The doctors, who have ample knowledge of & experience with traumatic brain injuries, have no rationale for this reality, either. I will say though, that every single brain injury is widely different (for an extensive number of reasons) and therefore neither my doctors, nor anyone on my vast support team, can pinpoint why.
Even now, years after my release, I have a lessened feeling of, as well as delayed reaction to, pain. I considered this a positive initially, but upon further thought & input from my support team, this too has the potential to be disastrous. Pain offers us information: don’t take that action anymore, it hurts! or find a different physical way to accomplish the same goal, which doesn’t hurt.
Still, almost 5 years later, I live with no physical pain resulting from the accident. I guess the pain of my tailbone hitting the ground (strategically) many times a day, when I was relearning to walk, is a tangential result of my injury, but I have never experienced any internal pain resulting from my Severe TBI, my many broken bones, etc.
There is however, abundant mental anguish (which has finally lessened now, after a decade+, but only in part, if I’m honest). The immense loss & frustration issued by my inability to do MOST of the things that I used to fill my day with, which once brought me joy & fulfillment, is still ever present.
My parents & I, had to learn & are still learning A LOT, as that is & was absolutely necessary, in order to propel my healing. I must travel seemingly indirect routs, to achieve the previously easily sourced outcomes. My psychiatrist has explained, that this is because the mental pathways, which I once mentally traveled, have been demolished, never to be reclaimed.
All of the steps in this recovery process were & still are, brand new to us all. Usually, newness excites me! That’s just how I am. ThisThis newness, however, is in no way exciting.