I’ve noticed a distinct difference. To be clear, I’ve always been a bit of a wild child, but I’m more open even than before, which is strange/wonderful. I’m self-conscious about my scars, though, and because I’ve never felt self conscious before, truly (I’m a bit of a hippy, born in the wrong era). I want to openly embrace my scars. This is my body. I’ve been through a traumatic experience and these scars are proof of it (I’m encouraged by my friend Kate, whom thinks this way.) They don’t hurt, they just look unfortunate. It’s quite clear where they fed me food, while I was in the coma. My trache (tracheotomy) – is how the docs offered me oxygen + there are scars on my arm, where the window glass (from the car, in the accident) shattered.
I am sorry for the redundancy – if you read my “scars” piece. (I’m explaining it to those who didn’t) my tracheotomy scars sit @ the base of my throat, considering, that’s how I breathed.
I’m so open and I feel this is a physical way to express it. I’ve even wanted to go to Burning Man for years – the epicenter of bareness.
I now though (2 weeks after beginning this piece) I’ve realized, I’m much more careful. No more talking to strangers (it’s still my love, and so I feel that this break is only temporary – because I genuinely believe that people, in general, are good.) It’s certainly wise to defend yourself, but only practically, any more than that, is being over-protective