I must admit, I’m incredibly bias about this, as I was a server for many years. Though I didn’t encounter this confusion (server vs. servant) prevalently at the restaurant I was at the longest (hence why I stayed so long – this time allocation is unique to restaurant work though, -a long time = > 6 months)
Because your title is server (gender neutral & therefore applies to all – easier than water/waitress when addressing groups). Servers are treated, sometimes (& I must say – at pretentious & down-right rude times) as lesser. Even though, honestly, choosing to be a server really implies nothing – other than that you enjoy being hospitable & can remember things quite well.
I want to be clear, however. The truth is, that this job is lucrative (it’s hard to refute that) but it’s not as though you don’t work for the money you earn – you do! Many hours of serving people (meeting their every demand) + working very close to a kitchen & not being able to eat – (accept a quick snack, whenever you can fit it in). It’s a bit of a taunt – or it would be – if you had time to desire selfish things.
But rudeness is all too common. Example: I’ve heard of guests snapping to get a servers attention. Really? You don’t even bother to use your words? I will say though, that having wonderful, supportive bosses, is very helpful. That way you can feel confident, that whatever a patron claims (whether accurate or over-dramatic), you will be supported.
All this piece hopes to do, is encourage you to be a well-mannered patron.